A twenty-year-old mother, Lyndsey Walker, has explained how an ailment, postnatal depression, caused her to hear voices and fantasise about killing her 15 month old baby daughter.
Having never suffered any form of mental illness,Walker experienced rare postpartum psychosis following the birth of her daughter Elizabeth, now 15 months old.
The psychosis manifested itself as a male voice inside Miss Walker's head which told her she was an unfit mother and that her family would be better off if she were dead.
The voice even encouraged her to imagine asphyxiating Elizabeth, resulting in Miss Walker attempting suicide.
Miss Walker, a former hairdresser, said: 'After Elizabeth was born I didn't feel anything towards her, good or bad. I had no emotions at all.
'I pretended I was delighted in order not to make other people alarmed. But I was steadily getting worse, and soon resented having to change and feed Elizabeth.
'A deep male voice started talking to me, coming to me at times I couldn't predict. He told me I was so bad at being a mum that Elizabeth would be better off if I were dead.
'I had visions of smothering Elizabeth with a pillow, which I believed would make the voice leave me alone, although I never came close to hurting her.'
Elizabeth was born in December 2012 after an exhausting 39-hour labour.
Miss Walker, who was only seeing Andrew Jackson before the pregnancy, said: 'Andrew and I found out I was pregnant almost as soon as we decided to start trying. We were really happy.
'I'm close to my mum and loved the idea of passing on that love and having a little life to care for.
'I loved having the bump. I felt really close to my daughter from an early stage. The labour really took it out of me.
'Over time, things became unbearable. Washing, dressing and feeding Elizabeth was just a chore. Andy and my mum Amanda could tell I was suffering so they asked me to go and see a doctor.'
'I told mum everything and she took me to a doctor, who diagnosed postpartum psychosis and prescribed anti-depressants and anti-psychotic medicine. But by then I was doing everything the voice told me to do.
'When I came out of hospital I started to notice things about Elizabeth - how beautiful her smile was, and what fun we had when we're together.
'I knew I loved her and would do anything for her.'
Today Miss Walker says Elizabeth is the light of her life. She has been given a clean bill of health by psychiatrists and doctors and, following several months of aftercare at home, she will be completely discharged from the mental healthcare services next week.
She now hopes to raise awareness of postpartum psychosis in order to give hope to parents affected by it.
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